Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

Simple Moments

September 6th, 2010

The hint of fall is definitely in the air here, and I found myself unable to sit inside yesterday and work, so I took the laptop outside and worked instead. It was wonderful and even though I found myself distracted several times, I did finally get everything finished and got dinner cooked for myself. Marcel was at Sunday dinner at his mom’s (I don’t go any longer because my allergies can’t handle the smoke smell from them smoking) and I had some time to myself.

Last night as the sun was going down, I decided to brew myself a cup of coffee and sit outside and enjoy the sunset. In the western skies the blue was so bright, and I noticed at one point that there were six planes flying through the sky. The ones flying in the western part of the sky were the ones I noticed most. The sun reflected on their vapor trail and it literally glowed a beautiful, bright white color. As the plane would move across the sky, the vapor trail would slowly dissipate and follow behind it. I found myself thinking about this man that goes to church with my parents. His name is Jack, and I remember him telling us several years ago that clouds come from airplane vapor trails. I couldn’t help but smile when I watched them move across the sky and slowly disappear. Sorry Jack, no clouds were formed.

It was a moment of simplicity. The cool, crisp air as the sun slowly made its way beyond the horizon, which would mean sunrise in another part of the world. The beauty of a bright blue sky and a vapor trail- of planes flying to destinations unknown. A cup of my favorite coffee and nothing but the sounds of the outdoors.

Simple, but yet so filled with peace and beauty.

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That Little Thing Called Love

August 15th, 2010

Chase It and It will elude you.
 
Let go of It and It will stay.
 
Give It and 10x more of It will be given back.
 
It has many faces but is always with you.
 
It asks you to become greater than your fears.
 
It breaks your Heart on purpose to know It’s value.
 
When you put It first, all things come to you.
 
It forgives immediately and forgets every time.
 
It’s to your left, your right, behind you and right in front of you.
 
It has many names but one purpose – Love.

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Sweet Little Lies

August 11th, 2010

I was watching something on television this morning, which said that studies have shown that men lie on average of 6 times per day, and women lie on average 3 times a day. I actually found this statistic very interesting and wonder what the biggest lie is that you’ve ever told?

I’m still trying to decide if I actually have the nerve to share mine or not- I honestly try not to lie, but many, many years ago I told a BIG one that I’ve never forgotten. I was 21 at the time, and there are times when I do think about it.

Don’t worry- none of you reading this should worry if it was you that I told this big lie to- it was actually to an old boyfriend. Quite truthfully, at the time I felt justified, but that was probably because in those days I felt revenge was sweet. These days- I feel differently. I guess I’ve gotten more ‘wiz’dom as I’ve gotten older. Thank goodness for that.

So who dares share their biggest lie, or even a little one?

The study also says that in spite of parents telling their children not to lie- they actually teach them to do just that in certain instances. Do you agree or disagree?

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Thoughts

July 4th, 2010

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about family. I think about my family quite often, but lately, I’ve been thinking about my great grandmother McCormack and also my mom’s mom. I’m not sure why. I often wonder if my grandma would have lived to be a much older age than 72, if she’d had that spot on her breast checked out long before she did. It had been there for 30 years, and I often wonder why no one did something about checking it out far before it was too late. My great grandmother lived to be very old, and one of my grandmother’s older sisters just celebrated her 95th birthday. I saw some of the pictures and it doesn’t look like she’s ever needed to pull out any wrinkle cream, even at the ripe age of 95. Her skin is perfect.

Someone commented to me a few days ago that they thought someone who was several years younger than me was actually several years older. My mom has no wrinkles. If all these great genes are any sign of the things to come, then I’m looking forward to it. I miss them all-

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Some Things-

June 14th, 2010

In a world where we always want to put a ‘label’ on everything, I’ve found that sometimes, some things just don’t fit a ‘label’.      Some things just ‘are’ and it doesn’t matter which labels you may want to attach to it- none of them fit.    I wonder if that would mean that ‘not having a label’ is a label in it’s own?  

It really is ok that everything can’t  fit within a certain box.   Some things simply are.

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Nothing Tastes Good

May 29th, 2010

The thing I’ve noticed about not feeling well is that it’s like the best diet pills because I really have no desire to eat. Of course, this would come on a day that I’ve decided to actually cook something that I haven’t cooked in probably two years, (lasagne) but I’m going to make it anyway. I actaually bought all the stuff and mixed everything up this morning, so now all I have to do is pop it in the oven when the time is right. I just hope by then I’ll be in the mood to eat it, because right now I haven’t even been able to get my breakfast down, and y’all know how much I love my steel-cut oats.

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Daniel

May 26th, 2010

Since there has been so much going on lately, I really do have quite a bit to tell, but I am breaking it up in to smaller entries. I figured that would make things easier to read, plus it may make my rambles a little less confusing. In fact, they may not make sense to anyone, since they are tidbits of thoughts that pass through my gray matter, but yet they make sense to me.

In Bible Study- we are studying the book of Daniel, and I’m really enjoying it and learning a great deal. This week, we studied Daniel Chapter 7, where Daniel has a dream about 4 monsters and what those 4 monsters actually mean. The thing that really reached out to me was in our commentary where it says that God may not remove the mountains (obstacles) that come into our path, but he may, instead choose to dig a tunnel through them. That could mean several things, or at least I took it several ways.

First- It could mean that just because a situation isn’t removed from our lives, doesn’t mean that there isn’t another way. Often times, we are so focused on the depth of the forest, that we can’t see the trail that has been given us to get through. There is a path, it just may not be the one we originally had in our minds.

Second- It could also mean that sometimes, even though it’s the most painful- the best way to learn and grow from a situation is to go through it. It doesn’t mean that we are alone, but it means simply that there is a reason that we need to go through this particular mountain as opposed to it being removed. Maybe it’s so that we can help someone else in the future, or maybe it’s so that we will be prepared if certain circumstances arise in our lives.

We can’t compare our lives to the lives of others. Two people may deal with the same situation in completely different manners, simply because their lives are different. One may have experienced other trials that prepare them to make it through, while the other may be less prepared. It doesn’t make either manner wrong, just different. It’s important to know (and a huge reminder to me) that if we are brought to the mountain, that we WILL make it through, it just may not be through the path of least resistance.

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One Step at a Time

May 26th, 2010

With all that has been weighing on my mind the past week or so, I’ve found that I’ve had absolutely no desire or energy to do anything. I know why I’m feeling this way, which is the first step to being able to do something about it. Unfortunately, I’ve found myself focusing on other things, so that I don’t have to deal with the pain and emotions of what I’m feeling. I think that is probably why people abuse substances, so that they don’t have to ‘feel’. The good thing is, I have no desire or inclination to get involved with any sort of substance abuse, but I have found myself thinking about taking diet supplements. I probably won’t, but it has been something that has crossed my mind recently, because I thought it could be helpful in helping me get rid of these last pounds.

I’m working on dealing with my emotions, and I may even start a blog where I can just ‘get it all out’ in a private place. I know it helps to be able to purge yourself of thoughts and emotions that are bringing you down, and keeping them in serves no real purpose. Opening up to any person has been difficult for me. I guess because the feelings are all new and overwhelming.

Now before any of you get worried- don’t be- I will overcome. I always do. After all, they don’t call me Wizardress for nothin’.

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Wishing the Week Away

May 24th, 2010

I’m never one who wants to wish away the time, since it seems to fly away fast enough on its own, but this is a week I wish I could skip all together.   Today would have been Marcel’s brothers birthday, but as most of you know, he’s no longer with us.   Friday is Carol’s birthday, the first since she passed away and even though I haven’t been able to bring myself to talk about it- even here-  it’s weighing heavily on my mind and heart.   

On the positive side- I do have good things to look forward to this week.   Tomorrow morning is Bible Study with a wonderful group of women that I love and admire, plus Wednesday, Desere and I are going to Ladies Night for Sex and the City Part 2.    Since I never watched the show and hadn’t seen the first movie, we watched it together this past Saturday.   I really enjoyed it, even though I didn’t know much of the history of the show and am looking forward to seeing what happens in part deaux.

In the meantime, I’ll keep trudging forward and know that things will get better.

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Rambling Thoughts

May 20th, 2010

I’m sorry that things have been a little quiet the past couple of days but I have been pondering many thoughts in this gray matter of mine. It has been one of those weeks that on the whole has been really great in some ways, but odd in others. I have been internalizing some of the things, and I thought if I shared a few of them, maybe it would help me process things and stop focusing on them so much.

Bear with me.

  • Two days ago I found out that after 24 years, the man who murdered a friend of mine in 1986 had finally been put to death.   He’d been on death row all that time and I’d honestly come to the conclusion that the tax payers would be paying for him to live out his life in prison.   That wasn’t the case, and even though it was 24 years too late, I’m glad that justice was finally served in the murder of Rhonda Crane.   She was truely one of the most amazing women I have ever known.  I rank her up there with my Grandma Jo and believe me when I say that it’s saying something for anyone to be in the same league with her.
  • Someone I love dearly is struggling with some issues right now.  I can’t go into the details, but this is something that’s gone on far too long and it gets more and more ridiculous as time moves on.   It’s taking a toll on other people that I love, which makes me sad.   It doesn’t help that they try to keep me from knowing how it’s affecting them;  I know.
  • Tomorrow night Ainsley and Olivia will be graduating from High School and I won’t be there.   A & O are the twin daughters of my dearest friend Samantha.   She and I have been friends since we were teenagers and now her girls will be receiving their diploma’s and graduating with honors.   I should be there for all this, plus to go on the cruise with them, yet I’m not.   Sometimes I feel as though I miss out on too many things by living here.
  • I’ve been thinking a lot about Carol lately.   Her birthday is in 8 days, and I have so much that I would like to say.   I seem to be flooded with thoughts of her, and keep having dreams where I wake up with the urge to call her, only to realize that I can’t.   Sometimes, it still doesn’t seem real that she’s gone- but yet I know she is.

These are just a few of the things that are rattling around.   There are many other things- great things, such as some inspiration for jewelry that I came up with, and spending time with great friends and the list goes on.  I’m very blessed, and don’t think for one second that I don’t know and recognize that, but life doesn’t guarantee us constant sunshine, so we have to learn how to deal with the rain.

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