Archive for the ‘From the Heart’ Category

Daniel

May 26th, 2010

Since there has been so much going on lately, I really do have quite a bit to tell, but I am breaking it up in to smaller entries. I figured that would make things easier to read, plus it may make my rambles a little less confusing. In fact, they may not make sense to anyone, since they are tidbits of thoughts that pass through my gray matter, but yet they make sense to me.

In Bible Study- we are studying the book of Daniel, and I’m really enjoying it and learning a great deal. This week, we studied Daniel Chapter 7, where Daniel has a dream about 4 monsters and what those 4 monsters actually mean. The thing that really reached out to me was in our commentary where it says that God may not remove the mountains (obstacles) that come into our path, but he may, instead choose to dig a tunnel through them. That could mean several things, or at least I took it several ways.

First- It could mean that just because a situation isn’t removed from our lives, doesn’t mean that there isn’t another way. Often times, we are so focused on the depth of the forest, that we can’t see the trail that has been given us to get through. There is a path, it just may not be the one we originally had in our minds.

Second- It could also mean that sometimes, even though it’s the most painful- the best way to learn and grow from a situation is to go through it. It doesn’t mean that we are alone, but it means simply that there is a reason that we need to go through this particular mountain as opposed to it being removed. Maybe it’s so that we can help someone else in the future, or maybe it’s so that we will be prepared if certain circumstances arise in our lives.

We can’t compare our lives to the lives of others. Two people may deal with the same situation in completely different manners, simply because their lives are different. One may have experienced other trials that prepare them to make it through, while the other may be less prepared. It doesn’t make either manner wrong, just different. It’s important to know (and a huge reminder to me) that if we are brought to the mountain, that we WILL make it through, it just may not be through the path of least resistance.

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Rambling Thoughts

May 20th, 2010

I’m sorry that things have been a little quiet the past couple of days but I have been pondering many thoughts in this gray matter of mine. It has been one of those weeks that on the whole has been really great in some ways, but odd in others. I have been internalizing some of the things, and I thought if I shared a few of them, maybe it would help me process things and stop focusing on them so much.

Bear with me.

  • Two days ago I found out that after 24 years, the man who murdered a friend of mine in 1986 had finally been put to death.   He’d been on death row all that time and I’d honestly come to the conclusion that the tax payers would be paying for him to live out his life in prison.   That wasn’t the case, and even though it was 24 years too late, I’m glad that justice was finally served in the murder of Rhonda Crane.   She was truely one of the most amazing women I have ever known.  I rank her up there with my Grandma Jo and believe me when I say that it’s saying something for anyone to be in the same league with her.
  • Someone I love dearly is struggling with some issues right now.  I can’t go into the details, but this is something that’s gone on far too long and it gets more and more ridiculous as time moves on.   It’s taking a toll on other people that I love, which makes me sad.   It doesn’t help that they try to keep me from knowing how it’s affecting them;  I know.
  • Tomorrow night Ainsley and Olivia will be graduating from High School and I won’t be there.   A & O are the twin daughters of my dearest friend Samantha.   She and I have been friends since we were teenagers and now her girls will be receiving their diploma’s and graduating with honors.   I should be there for all this, plus to go on the cruise with them, yet I’m not.   Sometimes I feel as though I miss out on too many things by living here.
  • I’ve been thinking a lot about Carol lately.   Her birthday is in 8 days, and I have so much that I would like to say.   I seem to be flooded with thoughts of her, and keep having dreams where I wake up with the urge to call her, only to realize that I can’t.   Sometimes, it still doesn’t seem real that she’s gone- but yet I know she is.

These are just a few of the things that are rattling around.   There are many other things- great things, such as some inspiration for jewelry that I came up with, and spending time with great friends and the list goes on.  I’m very blessed, and don’t think for one second that I don’t know and recognize that, but life doesn’t guarantee us constant sunshine, so we have to learn how to deal with the rain.

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The Journey

May 8th, 2010

It always means a great deal to me when people whom I didn’t even know had been keeping up with my journey to better health and lifestyle choices write me and say they consider me an inspiration. I’m not one to try to sugar coat things, and when people ask me if it’s better for them to use weight loss dietary supplement, I can only say that I know what worked for me. Every person, every body type, every lifestyle is different and the only thing that I do personally to supplement my diet is take a daily multivitamin and also take fish oil tablets for the Omega 3′s, just in case I’m not getting enough in my food. That’s it.

The journey is not an easy one, but it’s one that I know anyone can do if they just believe in themselves and continue to work towards moving forward. It doesn’t mean that you won’t sometimes have a moment when you derail, but picking yourself up- brushing yourself off and continuing forward is the key to success.

For those of you who continue to follow me on this journey, and for those of you who have reached out to me and said that in some small way I’ve been an inspiration- I thank you. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.

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Peace, Love and Coffee

March 19th, 2010

Earlier this week I had the great opportunity to meet up with two really great friends for lunch. It happened to be on a day when I was really struggling and that I almost canceled joining them simply because I didn’t want to be a downer, and I wasn’t feeling very social. In the end, I decided to go anyway, and I was so happy that I did. We had a great time, lots of laughs, and I even took this picture that I call “Peace Love and Coffee”. I shared it on my Facebook, but I thought it would be fun to share it here too.

Ironically, the following day diddy (my word for daddy) sent me an email entitled, May We Always Be Coffee. I loved it and it happened to be just what I needed at that particular moment. I want to share it here, not to serve as a reminder to myself from time to time- but also so that maybe someone else will be touched by it the way that I was.

May We Always Be Coffee – Author Unknown

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘ Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardboiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

‘Which are you?’ she asked her daughter. ‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

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Thoughts

March 6th, 2010

I’m sorry if the little that I have been writing has seemed like doom and gloom, but I can assure you that it isn’t. The truth of the matter is, I’m grieving the loss of someone who was very dear to me, and in some ways I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that she’s gone. It hurts, and it’s almost unbelieveable to think that when I go home the next time and when the holidays roll around that she won’t be there with us.

I’m trying to give this all a place, but it’s going to take time. I’ve been blessed by the outpouring of love and support from family and friends, and that makes it easier to bare that she’s no longer with us, and that I am not there. Yesterday was the wake (visitation) and I couldn’t sleep thinking about it. This morning is the funeral, and I wish I were there. I’ve done everything I can from here, and now I just need to give myself some time. We all need a little time. I just wish it didn’t feel as though someone had ripped a hole in my heart.

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Making Every Cup Count

November 8th, 2009

Some of you who know me may know that I love coffee. It isn’t a secret, and something that I share quite often in this little space. I have shared laughter, tears and many conversations over a cup of my favorite java in various locations across the globe.

When I believe in something strongly, I like to share that with other like minded people, or even those who aren’t like-minded, because you never know when what you say will have an impact on the life of another person.

As a part of the Coffee-Mate Brew Crew Team, it makes me proud to be able to be a part of the Make Every Cup Count campaign. The great thing is, we can all help make the difference in the life of another by taking a moment and ‘sending a cup of confidence’ to a woman who is part of the program. For every virtual cup that you send, Coffee-Mate will donate to the “Dress for Success” program. Coffee-Mate will donate $50,000 and possibly much more with your help!

makeeverycupcount

The dress for success program is an amazing program that allows women a chance at a better life. I personally believe that success begins with someone believing in you and this program empowers women by “promoting economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing business clothes, a network of support and career development tools, helping them to discover their abilities, gain confidence and become self-sufficient.”

You can help by ‘sending a cup of confidence’ which will add more to the amount that Coffee-Mate is donating to this amazing cause for women. Everyone deserves a chance- why not help make that chance possible for someone in need?

For more information about the Dress For Success Program, click here

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Reflections

October 25th, 2009

The sun is shining here, which is a HUGE contrast to the past few days. It doesn’t even really seem cold, which is another huge contrast, because yesterday I couldn’t seem to get warm. What I really want to do is go outside and sit in the fall leaves with JJ, and enjoy the sun while I can, but I know that the ground is wet, plus I know it wouldn’t take long and I’d be surrounded with people wanting to chit-chat. Those who know me know that I do love to talk, but some days I just like to be still, and be quiet and today is one of those days. I know, I know, you can’t tell it from my flood of journal entries today, but it’s true. I haven’t said much today, but instead have been thoughtful and reflective about many things happening in my life, and also the disability appeal that is happening in the life of someone I care about.

I have a friend facing surgery this week, and I hope they come through it with flying colors. I have others who are also struggling and there are days when I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better for all of us, but I know that this too shall pass. We have alot to be grateful for- each and every one of us, and I need to focus on that.

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Sentimental Journeys

July 24th, 2009

Those who know me, know that I’m very sentimental. While I’m not one to hold on to everything, I do find myself keeping tiny reminders of days gone by, stashed away and found at various moments in time. In those moments, I always pause and find myself flooded with memories of those precious moments, all from those tiny mometos.

This morning was one of those times. I was switching everything from one wallet to my new wallet, and I came across a plethoria of reminders of wonderful moments with wonderful people.

What did I find, you may wonder- Below, I’ll share a few of those things. They’d be nothing to anyone else, but to me they are priceless, and in case you are wondering, no I didn’t throw them away, I tucked them away securely in my new wallet, where they will remain until I come across them again sometime.

  • Paris Metro tickets from last year’s trip to Paris with my parents.
  • Prague Metro tickets, also from last years trip with my parents.
  • A receipt from Chef Scott’s, where Samantha and I ate Sushi not long before Marcel and I came back home.
  • A receipt from Surin, where Marcel and I went with Julie and Brock last year when we were home.
  • A little paper from Crown money exchange place in Bulgaria, because if you use that paper you get a better exchange rate.
  • Several ‘fortunes’ from various cookies I’ve opened throughout the years.   (The fortunes, which are filled with ‘wiz’dom, can be found below.

Found on the Fortune Cookies:

“Things turn out best for th epeople who make the best of the way things turn out.”

“Nothing happens unless first a dream.”

“It is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that count.”

“Look for the dream that keeps coming back.  It is your destiny.”

“You have an unusual magnetic personality.  Just be aware of your polarity.”

I’m curious-  Do YOU keep little momentos from places you’ve been and things you’ve seen tucked away somewhere?  If so, what and where?

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To Mommy- With Love

May 10th, 2009

I guess this entry really should be a tribute to ALL Mother’s out there, and while I do wish them all a very happy Mother’s Day, this space today is dedicated to not only the person who brought me into this world (with a little help from the doctors), but also the person I deem- “The best mommy in the world“- my very own mom.

I know having me as a daughter hasn’t always been the easiest of tasks. Granted, there were harder things to endure, such as having me AND my brother as children, but you endured, and we turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself. It must have been part genetics, and part child rearing skills.

On a more serious note- Just think mom- a year ago today, we were headed off to spend Mother’s Day in Pareee- something that I’ll treasure always, to be able to not only spend Mother’s Day with you again, but to be able to spend it abroad, exploring new countries and cultures.

You truely are the best mom I could have ever been given. Even though I know I am difficult from time to time- (I get that honestly haha) God blessed me so much when he gave me you and diddy as parents.

I admire your commitment to things that you believe in, your strength, and intelligence. I know you always say that Matt and I get our intelligence from diddy, but I know better- we get it from both of you. After all, why do you think we always thought we were smarter than yáll growing up? It had to be because we had the intelligence of both of you, therefore clearly making us smarter- right? Well, we thought so at the time, but obviously that wasn’t true.

You are a bright and shining star mommy- I know you don’t like to be in the limelight, but you shine wherever you go, and I’m so grateful to you for all that you’ve done and continue to do for me- for the words of ‘wíz’dom, and for being, (as Lin would call you) “Wiz-Mama”.

I am richly blessed, to call you mother and friend. Thank you for being the best Mother a girl could ever dream of.

I’m sorry that I can’t be there with you physically today- but know that I’m there in spirit-

Where do you want to spend Mother’s Day in 2011? Start thinking now. London? Iceland? Ireland? Rome?

LOVE YOU!!!!!

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Secret Garden

May 8th, 2009

I took the photo below a few weeks ago in a very public place. In fact, people were passing by this bench in droves, but yet, no one seemed to notice it. In spite of the masses of people, and the other beauty surrounding me, I noticed it right away, and as I took a few photos of it- I allowed my imagination to wander..

I imagined that it was a bench, hidden away in a secret garden- a garden that few knew about, and those who did, cherished the fact that it was tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. It was a place where people could sit and talk, about life- love- or anything that weighed heavily on their hearts and minds- A place where only the other sitting beside them on the bench could hear what was being said, and where there was an unspoken rule that whatever was told within the confines of the secret garden, would live only within the garden, never to be mentioned to another soul.

It was a place of peace- a place of security- a place where those who knew of its existance were always welcome with open arms.

Sometimes the things that go unnoticed by most, are some of the most beautiful things of all.

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